THANK GOD FOR STEM CELLS.

Fifty years from now, cheating bastards justifiably fear DNA time bombs.

Man, has Ronnie Bazook got a big surprise coming!

THEY'RE ILLEGAL for good reason, because DNA time bombs can trigger your body to do some pretty wild stuff. Doctored DNA can work wonders when it’s used for doing positive things, however, the dark side of this bio-tech magic is not so nice. But at least when an illegal DNA time bomb causes your dick to fall off, there’s no blood. All is not lost though, because in 2057, fingers, toes and penises can all be regenerated with stem cells, which takes about nine months. But it’s still a tsunami sized shock to have your organ to drop off in an intimate moment, which has reformed lots of philandering bastards.

Bonny tells Angela that she's planted a DNA time bomb in Ronnie's
drinks, so his dick is due to drop off next time he has sex with his mistress.

Angela goes, wow!

Bonny thinks it's hilarious and appropriate revenge.

Angela agrees!

FOR THOSE THAT CAME IN LATE.

“Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy meets Melrose Place in outer space”.

Lustra and Mertis, alien hitchhikers from hell.

ALPHA IS AN EDGY, off the planet, mobile TV soap opera aimed at 15-24s. An addictive mix of cliff hanger plots, today's music and black comedy. Made in uber cool CG 3D animation.

One hundred thousand young colonists.

ALPHA takes place in 2057, a colossal starship escaping ice-age Earth is carrying over one hundred thousand young colonists and crew on a sixteen year voyage across interstellar space to settle a beautiful, sunny new world orbiting Alpha Centauri B.

Deep Space Psychosis

The show begins at the halfway point, eight long years after lift off, when deep space psychosis (DSP) is endemic, which is like extreme cabin fever. ALPHA concerns itself therefore with all the shenanigans on board, as more and more people succumb to the effects of DSP. Licentiousness being its most obvious symptom. Which will accelerate, when eleven drop dead gorgeous aliens arrive, capable of charming the pants off anyone in the universe.

Ronnie Bazook from L.A. never trusted the Zoo-o-lights an inch.

WHERE NO SOAP HAS GONE BEFORE
With such a strong desire to get off the icy hell that Earth is turning into, those aboard the United Nations Interstellar Colony Ship Madison Hopkins, now nicknamed the MadHop, used to consider themselves lucky. However, way before they were halfway to Alpha Centauri, it was very obvious that quite a few people on board should never have been allowed out beyond their front door, let alone loose on the universe. Most unfortunately, that also includes the British captain of the ship and now all the evidence anyone would ever need in a court of law to prove how interstellar travel can profoundly change humans for the worst, is staring everyone fat in the face. Because after eight long years in deep space, the UNs’ proud and noble mission to the stars is looking a whole lot more like Melrose Place in outer space.

The crazy Bazooks from Los Angeles

Like any community, there’s a sea of characters, a lot more than you could ever get to know in a lifetime. ALPHA therefore specifically concerns itself with the characters surrounding a single dysfunctional family, the six Bazooks from Los Angeles, who are well positioned to have a wide range of friends, acquaintances, influence, and enemies (like the captain).

Five million people won the ballot to escape the new ice-age on Earth, but only 100,000 could be chosen. Nevertheless, ratbags like Ronnie Bazook easily sidestepped the tedious and exhausting testing processes with a far more efficient selection method, an aluminum briefcase full of greenbacks. However, it’s not the end of the world on Planet Earth, far from it, humankind has survived ice-ages before. But it’s going to be unbelievably cold and ghastly for aeons and this is what drives human migration to the stars.

But it’s not easy sailing, as the first ship is finding out.

HERE'S GOOD REASON TO QUARANTINE EARTH.

Not only is the captain of the starship British, but he’s also barking mad.

Commodore Horatio Branson (V2 design)

WE ALL KNOW the lads from Blighty can be rather frivolous with sanity, but Commodore Horatio Branson, unabashed sociopath, takes the cake. How he got to the top of the tree is a question asked by many, but never answered from the top secret rooms of power that would deny his existence, if only they could. Even the sacrifice of the MadHop would be worth it in their opinion, sources say. Branson was the “first man on Titan” who came back a hero. Too bad about the rest of the ESA crew though who perished on Saturn’s largest moon, all seven of them. Rumours abound, of course, Branson was already a controversial choice to lead the Titan mission and despite demands from the families of the dead ESA astronauts, no official enquiry has ever been held to determine what really happened fourteen years ago.