THANK GOD FOR STEM CELLS.

Fifty years from now, cheating bastards justifiably fear DNA time bombs.

Man, has Ronnie Bazook got a big surprise coming!

THEY'RE ILLEGAL for good reason, because DNA time bombs can trigger your body to do some pretty wild stuff. Doctored DNA can work wonders when it’s used for doing positive things, however, the dark side of this bio-tech magic is not so nice. But at least when an illegal DNA time bomb causes your dick to fall off, there’s no blood. All is not lost though, because in 2057, fingers, toes and penises can all be regenerated with stem cells, which takes about nine months. But it’s still a tsunami sized shock to have your organ to drop off in an intimate moment, which has reformed lots of philandering bastards.

Bonny tells Angela that she's planted a DNA time bomb in Ronnie's
drinks, so his dick is due to drop off next time he has sex with his mistress.

Angela goes, wow!

Bonny thinks it's hilarious and appropriate revenge.

Angela agrees!

FOR THOSE THAT CAME IN LATE.

“Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy meets Melrose Place in outer space”.

Lustra and Mertis, alien hitchhikers from hell.

ALPHA IS AN EDGY, off the planet, mobile TV soap opera aimed at 15-24s. An addictive mix of cliff hanger plots, today's music and black comedy. Made in uber cool CG 3D animation.

One hundred thousand young colonists.

ALPHA takes place in 2057, a colossal starship escaping ice-age Earth is carrying over one hundred thousand young colonists and crew on a sixteen year voyage across interstellar space to settle a beautiful, sunny new world orbiting Alpha Centauri B.

Deep Space Psychosis

The show begins at the halfway point, eight long years after lift off, when deep space psychosis (DSP) is endemic, which is like extreme cabin fever. ALPHA concerns itself therefore with all the shenanigans on board, as more and more people succumb to the effects of DSP. Licentiousness being its most obvious symptom. Which will accelerate, when eleven drop dead gorgeous aliens arrive, capable of charming the pants off anyone in the universe.

Ronnie Bazook from L.A. never trusted the Zoo-o-lights an inch.

WHERE NO SOAP HAS GONE BEFORE
With such a strong desire to get off the icy hell that Earth is turning into, those aboard the United Nations Interstellar Colony Ship Madison Hopkins, now nicknamed the MadHop, used to consider themselves lucky. However, way before they were halfway to Alpha Centauri, it was very obvious that quite a few people on board should never have been allowed out beyond their front door, let alone loose on the universe. Most unfortunately, that also includes the British captain of the ship and now all the evidence anyone would ever need in a court of law to prove how interstellar travel can profoundly change humans for the worst, is staring everyone fat in the face. Because after eight long years in deep space, the UNs’ proud and noble mission to the stars is looking a whole lot more like Melrose Place in outer space.

The crazy Bazooks from Los Angeles

Like any community, there’s a sea of characters, a lot more than you could ever get to know in a lifetime. ALPHA therefore specifically concerns itself with the characters surrounding a single dysfunctional family, the six Bazooks from Los Angeles, who are well positioned to have a wide range of friends, acquaintances, influence, and enemies (like the captain).

Five million people won the ballot to escape the new ice-age on Earth, but only 100,000 could be chosen. Nevertheless, ratbags like Ronnie Bazook easily sidestepped the tedious and exhausting testing processes with a far more efficient selection method, an aluminum briefcase full of greenbacks. However, it’s not the end of the world on Planet Earth, far from it, humankind has survived ice-ages before. But it’s going to be unbelievably cold and ghastly for aeons and this is what drives human migration to the stars.

But it’s not easy sailing, as the first ship is finding out.

HERE'S GOOD REASON TO QUARANTINE EARTH.

Not only is the captain of the starship British, but he’s also barking mad.

Commodore Horatio Branson (V2 design)

WE ALL KNOW the lads from Blighty can be rather frivolous with sanity, but Commodore Horatio Branson, unabashed sociopath, takes the cake. How he got to the top of the tree is a question asked by many, but never answered from the top secret rooms of power that would deny his existence, if only they could. Even the sacrifice of the MadHop would be worth it in their opinion, sources say. Branson was the “first man on Titan” who came back a hero. Too bad about the rest of the ESA crew though who perished on Saturn’s largest moon, all seven of them. Rumours abound, of course, Branson was already a controversial choice to lead the Titan mission and despite demands from the families of the dead ESA astronauts, no official enquiry has ever been held to determine what really happened fourteen years ago.

OFFICIAL MISSION PATCH

United Nations Interstellar Colony Ship Madison Hopkins, aka the MadHop.


ALPHA CENTAURI HERE WE COME.
THE CLOSEST STAR TO OUR SUN is 4.35 light years away from Earth in the Alpha Centauri star system, which resides in the constellation Centaurus in the Southern Hemisphere. It’s actually a triple sun system, which is reflected in the starship's official patch design. The two stars referred to as Alpha Centauri A and Alpha Cenaturi B are similar to the Sun and both are considered excellent candidates for planets with terrestrial life conditions. The third component in the system, Alpha Cenaturi C (aka Proxima Centauri), is a tiny, faint red dwarf that orbits the other two stars in a huge circle that takes millions of years to complete.

The U.N.I.C.S. Madison Hopkins is on a sixteen year voyage.

There are over 100,000 colonists and crew on the giant spaceship.
Ronnie Bazook bribed his way on board to escape the Mob and the IRS.

Halfway to Alpha Centauri things really start getting interesting,
when eight of the most beautiful liars in the universe turn up.

ASSASSIN BABE

Sometimes you have to take the law into your own hands on the MadHop.

Assassin Babe.

A VIGILANTE IS LOOSE ON THE GIANT SPACESHIP
There's over one hundred thousand people on board the MadHop but it's still not that easy to hide, even though the colossal vessel is as long as a freeway. Nevertheless "Assassin Babe", as the muck raking channel Bazooka TV has nicknamed her, has eluded every attempt at capture. Who is this incredible masked woman? She has so far maimed or assassinated six "undesirables", all of them noted for their abject treatment of females. Little wonder then that the captain of the ship has hired a squad of elite bodyguards.

Who is this masked avenger?

Why does Ronnie Bazook find it all so hilarious?

ALL THAT GLITTERS IS NOT GOLD

Uh oh, watch out for sex with smooth talking alien bastards.

Zool tries to console Honey about the pregnancy.

ENTER A HYBRID ALIEN-HUMAN BABY.
HONEY BAZOOK is seriously traumatised when she discovers that she is going to have a hybrid alien-human baby, something that was supposed to be a complete impossibility. That's what Zool the Zoo-o-light assured her. But the grand slammer is when Honey discovers that she is not going to be delivering a normal healthy screaming human child but a large blue alien egg, which will require months of incubating! Not to mention, ouch, what the reaction of her husband Billy Bazook is going to be like. Which is certain to motivate his big fat brother Ronnie to go totally ballistic as well. Then they'll both want to rip her Scottish head off.

Womb-cam shot, showing the egg with the alien-human hybrid.

Honey freaks!

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE HAS ITS ADVANTAGES

MICROBOTS make terrific spies.

These nosey maintenance bots are as small as mice.

THOUSANDS OF ROBOTS are are flat out on the MadHop doing a zillion things 24/7, from domestic cleaning chores to heavy-duty maintenance patrols inside the fusion reactor.

A computer with soul

All ruled over benevolently by the A.I. quantum computer, only the second one ever built, which has unexpectedly, amazingly, become sentient, after the ship survives traveling through the Vortex, an awesome dark matter maelstrom of titanic proportions. Where the quantum molecular core of the A.I. was bombarded with anti-neutrinos and left spin tachyons of an ultra intense and extremely spiritual kind. However, the computer has wisely kept very quiet about all this. Only Dinky and Maggot, it's two human children friends, have any idea. But the beautiful golden aliens are becoming suspicious, whom bots have observed in detail plotting to "take over the starship from the pathetic humans".

ZOO-O-LIGHT TECHNOLOGY.

Walk sexy and carry a big stick?

THE AMAZING ZOO-O-LIGHTS have a distaste for wearing too many clothes and a disdain for most technology. One thing that never leaves their sides, however, are these strange cylinder shaped devices, which reputably have over 20,000 uses, (only some of them naughty), from brushing teeth or zapping enemies, to subatomic morphing of hyper-granite compounds.

Is this the alien version of a Swiss Army knife?

Now you know why it's not a good idea to get Lustra angry.

STARSCRAPER CITY

Starscraper City is what they call the twin rows of high-rises at the front of the ship, where all the colonists live.

The ship is like a high-tech city flying through space, complete
with cops, criminals, great bars, shopping malls, the works.

FORTY-TWO MILES LONG, the UNICS Madison Hopkins is armed to the teeth and designed to impress, so if warlike aliens turn up they’ll have second thoughts about messing with Earth.

Starscraper City apartments were carefully designed to provide the

best conditions possible for enduring sixteen years in deep space.

Starscraper City soaked up the abilities of the world’s greatest architects and interior designers. The corridors and boulevards and malls are studded with magnificent artifacts reflecting the cultures of Earth, from Polynesia to ancient Egypt. Admiral Jack’s palatial office even includes Van Goghs and a Matisse.

Made from black steel, the hardest substance known to science, the sixty
storey starscrapers have panoramic views of the galaxy. It's five miles from
port to starboard and the domes halfway are the location of the Earth Park.

The spear shaped front of the ship includes Starscraper City, the biosphere Earth Park, the second quantum computer ever made, over one hundred factories, the cryogenic facilities, hydro-farms, command centres, a stadium, and the space marines and starship crew barracks. Twenty-five miles of massive dropships are next, linked together like railway boxcars and stacked to the rafters with one hundred years supplies for a brave new world, from kitset nanochip fabs to fusion reactors and micro breweries. The Fusion Power Division at the stern has eight hundred workers under rotation, maintaining and operating the temperamental stardrives and their mighty exhausts, which occupies the last seven miles of the starship. The Gravity Generator Division is another big employer with more than five hundred on staff and the Cryogenics and the Science Divisions also provide hundreds of jobs for the colonists. Many of whom operate their own businesses, running restaurants, nightclubs, bars and stores, etc.

The giant fusion drives at the rear take up seven miles of the MadHop.

MISSION OUT OF CONTROL

An unfortunate detail, which was ignored for political reasons, was that the two leaders of the mission to Alpha Centauri hated each others guts.

The first man on Mars.

ADMIRAL JACK MOMBASSA (49).
The legendary first man on Mars is in charge of the mission. The buck stops with the admiral, but Mars was a walk in the park in comparison and Jack’s got more problems than he can handle. How to rein in his out of control captain is a priority. Dealing with visitations from Jimi Hendrix’s ghost is another big one.

The first man on Titan.

COMMANDER HORATIO BRANSON (46) VC, DFC.
The controversial first man on Titan (he was the only astronaut to return from the mission) is the captain of the UNICS Madison Hopkins. But the truth is, the adored British hero is a conman of the first order and Jack Mombassa knows it. Branson is a bully, a cheat, a liar, a coward and a cad, who can pull the wool over peoples’ eyes in a blink. Indeed, his actions are so deplorable, women want him put on ice for the rest of the voyage. But for some reason the admiral won’t do anything about the swine.

Jack Mombassa's fantastic office on the spaceship.