SEX, LIES AND ALIENS

Apart from their tentacle hair, gorgeous gold skin and sex god good looks, in the flesh Zoo-o-lights look almost human.

Zool, leader of the Zoo-o-lights.

IT'S A LONG LONG WAY TO ALPHA CENTAURI.
THE SIXTEEN YEAR VOYAGE started out with everyone feeling like they were the luckiest people who ever lived. The ship is fitted out luxuriously and everyone lives in starscraper apartments with panoramic views of the Milky Way. But after eight long years on the road, deep space psychosis is rampant, people are homesick and mod. con’s are small compensation.

DISASTER STRIKES!
And now the situation has deteriorated even further, following a fluke accident which has reduced their speed by half and if it can’t be fixed, many more years will be added to the voyage.

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?

There they were halfway between solar systems, like a mote of dust crossing infinity, when against all odds something managed to smash into the MadHop. But it wasn’t a stray meteor or comet that ploughed into the number two fusion drive. Nope, it was something that should have been paying a hell of a lot more attention, because a tiny gold spaceship was responsible.

WORST ENCOUNTER?
It was the first encounter with alien beings in recorded human history and miraculously, none of the eleven golden-skinned Zoo-o-lights were injured. Almost as amazing, in less than a day the beautiful half naked creatures had all learned to speak English fluently with, curiously, a distinctive French accent.

Zoo-o-lights use emotions like lust as weapons
and they can shape enhance their bodies at will.

REDNECK ALERT!
The badly damaged stardrive was one thing, the sexy accent was another, but the fundamental reason the Zoo-o-lights fell out with all the rednecks on board was when Bazooka TV sensationally revealed that the aliens were all as drunk as lords when they rammed the MadHop, after celebrating to excess their graduation from an intergalactic university with Ph.D’s in Quantum Sex!

UH OH, QUANTUM SEX.

Now whatever the hell Q.S. was, every redneck immediately reached for his hidden shotgun to check that it was oiled and ready for action. Because one thing for damn sure, these here Zoo-o-light critters were big trouble, because they were obviously capable of charming the pants off anyone in the Universe.

WHERE NO SOAP HAS GONE BEFORE.